My book club is doing something different this month... writing! Actually, we are reading too... books about writing... and then writing stories from our own life. Here is one from my childhood.
Follow the Steeple
"Just follow the steeple." said Aaron. "It will lead us home."
I believed him. He said it with complete confidence, and I had known him my entire life... all five long years at the time... so I had no reason to doubt him. Besides, he was a boy, and since I had an older brother and was used to letting him tell me what to do, it seemed that Aaron was the obvious leader over me and my best friend, Liselle, who was also Aaron's cousin. Liselle and I simply trusted Aaron in our 5-year-old way.
The three of us lived on the same street in Mesa, within a few houses of each other, and attended morning kindergarten at a nearby elementary school. Our mothers were friends, so carpooling was natural. On this particular day, someone was late picking us up after school (we didn't keep track, so I have no idea whose turn it was... we simply trusted them too). We were tired of waiting what seemed like an eternity, though it was likely only a few minutes longer than our normal wait.
I don't remember who had the brilliant idea of walking home, but it seemed like a good plan to our grumbling tummies. It wasn't far; certainly it was within walking distance. And the weather was nice (always an important consideration in the Arizona desert), but it would require crossing a busy major street in mid-day traffic, though that didn't seem to concern any of us much.
What did concern us was that we didn't know the way home. Since we were used to traveling to and from school in a car, and our young minds had not yet developed much sense of direction, we were rather stumped at first. We seemed to know the general direction, but not how to navigate the streets around the buildings between the school and our homes.
At this point, Liselle and I gave up. Waiting seemed preferable to getting lost. But Aaron was undaunted. "Just follow the steeple," he said. That perked us up. Liselle and I didn't even question this; we knew he was right. The church, whose tall steeple towered above the houses and trees, stood at the end of our quiet suburban street, and we walked there to attend services every Sunday. We knew exactly where it was! We could see it from the school! And because we trusted Aaron, we knew the steeple would lead us home.
And somehow it did. I guess Aaron deserves some credit too, for he was able to keep two gasping 5-year-old girls pressing forward on what turned out to be a much longer walk than any of us anticipated. Taking a route that I now know to be very much "the long way home," we arrived at the church, exhausted and hungry (it was now well past lunch time), and found our jilted chauffeur driving around frantically to find us. Down came the car window and we heard an anxious voice exclaim, "You walked home?! How did you know the way?"
We three triumphant hikers simply smiled and replied in unison, "We just followed the steeple."
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
October 05, 2011
February 20, 2011
Funny Things Kids Say
Jay took Mary and her friend to the park yesterday so they could roller-skate around. After skating for a while, the girls were tired and looked for a place to sit down. Jay overhead this conversation between Mary and her friend, Brooke, when they discovered a park bench with a plaque on it, dedicated to someone.
Mary: Why does this bench has someone's name on it?
Brooke: That must be someone who died. They must have died on that bench!
Mary: (wide-eyed) Oh! We better go sit somewhere else!
This evening we were all in the car and drove past a housing development called "Lindsay Park" that has been there for a few years. Mary said, "Wow, it's taking a really long time for them to finish building that park." Jay and I looked at each other, confused. There was no park in sight. I finally realized Mary had misunderstood the term "park," so I explained that was just a name for the subdivision. "Oooohhhh!" she said and seemed relieved. "I was wondering what was taking so long!" Then she laughed at herself. Jack was listening, but obviously wasn't very interested. He said, in a very superior voice, "Huh. I wasn't even curious about that."
Mary: Why does this bench has someone's name on it?
Brooke: That must be someone who died. They must have died on that bench!
Mary: (wide-eyed) Oh! We better go sit somewhere else!
This evening we were all in the car and drove past a housing development called "Lindsay Park" that has been there for a few years. Mary said, "Wow, it's taking a really long time for them to finish building that park." Jay and I looked at each other, confused. There was no park in sight. I finally realized Mary had misunderstood the term "park," so I explained that was just a name for the subdivision. "Oooohhhh!" she said and seemed relieved. "I was wondering what was taking so long!" Then she laughed at herself. Jack was listening, but obviously wasn't very interested. He said, in a very superior voice, "Huh. I wasn't even curious about that."
June 10, 2010
Remembering Collin's Birth
I stumbled upon this the other day..... Jay's version of Collin's birth. It has been years since I read this, so I enjoyed a good laugh like I did the first time. It's quite skewed (in more ways than one), and very different than my own version of the events, but I thought you might enjoy it too.
[If you know Jay, you can imagine him saying this. If you don't know Jay, you might be confused, so let me explain that people often say that Jay could have had a successful career as a stand-up comedian (thank goodness he didn't choose that). ]
Collin's Birth
by Jay
May 11, 1999
We've had an eventful week. The week before didn't end too well as I was at work Friday and the Arrowhead water guy comes around the corner and hands me a free bottle of water as an anniversary gift... I guess it had been exactly one year since we changed from Hinkley & Schmitt, and I forgot. After that I was hoping that the baby would come the next weekend because that water guy was pretty upset that I had forgotten our special day and I didn't think that I wanted to face him that next Monday.
Well, as luck would have it, Alice went into the hospital (1) Monday morning as I was trying to think up another excuse to stay home. Alice was in labor all that day and through the night. My parents dropped by around dinner time with some Chinese food that smelled especially good to Alice since she wasn't allowed to eat. Unfortunately, they forgot to bring utensils, so it looked like I couldn't eat either. With any other kind of food this wouldn't be too much of a problem, but the rice and chicken bits were impossible to handle. I though they must have some utensils in one of the 10,000 drawers in our little delivery room, so I started looking. After snooping through all of those drawers, I found these shiny salad forks that were better for scooping up rice than any fork or spoon (all of the food falls off of those things by the time you get them to your mouth anyway). These things were like sterile shovels for food.
Alice had read several books to learn more about baby deliveries, but nothing seemed to happening like the books said it would. The labor pains affected by the pitocin were getting to be (2) so intense that the nurse recommended an epidural. I wasn't sure about Alice, but I knew I couldn't take these contractions much longer. Before the non-English speaking anesthesiologist could do her work I had to sign a waiver that said that epidurals may cause drowsiness, metallic taste in the mouth, tingling in the feet, or death. The "death" part concerned me so I asked the doctor if that had ever happened. She assured me that it hadn't, but they had to put it in the waiver to make it worth their lawyer's time. Well, she knew just enough English to make you think she had no idea what she was doing. She just kept saying, "Blah, blah, blah, uh-oh, dat is bera bad.... can you still fill you ligs?" After it was all over though, the pain was less and the labor went faster (3).
Finally, at 2:46 a.m. Collin was born all at once (4). I had never seen this kind of thing happen before.... he was so long that the doctor seemed to keep pulling him out for some time... kinda like the beginning of "Star Wars" when that Imperial Cruiser is going overhead and it keeps going and going and going. He had hair all over him and when they put that little ski cap on his head, he looked ready to knock over a Circle-K, except he had no clothes on, and he was purple (5).
I've had the past week off from work and have been able to spend some time with my good wife and the boy. He cries a lot, but it's like everyone said, "It's different when it's your own child." I just keep thinking of the day when he'll be mowing the lawn on Saturday morning while I stroll leisurely around the house, and it all seems worth it. The neighbors have been bringing by the most mysterious things for dinner ever since Alice got home from the hospital. There should be a law against mixing rice, cottage cheese, meat, and zucchini for human consumption, but until then, it will continue to show up on our doorstep with a note that says, "Cook @ 300 degrees for 30 minutes, and then, throw it away.... far away."
____________
FOR THE RECORD:
1) I did NOT go into labor on my own.... my water broke and 24 hours later I was forced to go to the hospital and put on a pitocin drip. Ugh.
2) "Getting to be intense?" Whatever.
3) The labor did NOT go faster after the epidural.... 9 hours more is NOT fast! (18 hours total)
4) Collin did NOT come out all at once.... it was very slowly during 2 hours of pushing!
5) Dark purple.
[If you know Jay, you can imagine him saying this. If you don't know Jay, you might be confused, so let me explain that people often say that Jay could have had a successful career as a stand-up comedian (thank goodness he didn't choose that). ]
Collin's Birth
by Jay
May 11, 1999
We've had an eventful week. The week before didn't end too well as I was at work Friday and the Arrowhead water guy comes around the corner and hands me a free bottle of water as an anniversary gift... I guess it had been exactly one year since we changed from Hinkley & Schmitt, and I forgot. After that I was hoping that the baby would come the next weekend because that water guy was pretty upset that I had forgotten our special day and I didn't think that I wanted to face him that next Monday.
Well, as luck would have it, Alice went into the hospital (1) Monday morning as I was trying to think up another excuse to stay home. Alice was in labor all that day and through the night. My parents dropped by around dinner time with some Chinese food that smelled especially good to Alice since she wasn't allowed to eat. Unfortunately, they forgot to bring utensils, so it looked like I couldn't eat either. With any other kind of food this wouldn't be too much of a problem, but the rice and chicken bits were impossible to handle. I though they must have some utensils in one of the 10,000 drawers in our little delivery room, so I started looking. After snooping through all of those drawers, I found these shiny salad forks that were better for scooping up rice than any fork or spoon (all of the food falls off of those things by the time you get them to your mouth anyway). These things were like sterile shovels for food.
Alice had read several books to learn more about baby deliveries, but nothing seemed to happening like the books said it would. The labor pains affected by the pitocin were getting to be (2) so intense that the nurse recommended an epidural. I wasn't sure about Alice, but I knew I couldn't take these contractions much longer. Before the non-English speaking anesthesiologist could do her work I had to sign a waiver that said that epidurals may cause drowsiness, metallic taste in the mouth, tingling in the feet, or death. The "death" part concerned me so I asked the doctor if that had ever happened. She assured me that it hadn't, but they had to put it in the waiver to make it worth their lawyer's time. Well, she knew just enough English to make you think she had no idea what she was doing. She just kept saying, "Blah, blah, blah, uh-oh, dat is bera bad.... can you still fill you ligs?" After it was all over though, the pain was less and the labor went faster (3).
Finally, at 2:46 a.m. Collin was born all at once (4). I had never seen this kind of thing happen before.... he was so long that the doctor seemed to keep pulling him out for some time... kinda like the beginning of "Star Wars" when that Imperial Cruiser is going overhead and it keeps going and going and going. He had hair all over him and when they put that little ski cap on his head, he looked ready to knock over a Circle-K, except he had no clothes on, and he was purple (5).
I've had the past week off from work and have been able to spend some time with my good wife and the boy. He cries a lot, but it's like everyone said, "It's different when it's your own child." I just keep thinking of the day when he'll be mowing the lawn on Saturday morning while I stroll leisurely around the house, and it all seems worth it. The neighbors have been bringing by the most mysterious things for dinner ever since Alice got home from the hospital. There should be a law against mixing rice, cottage cheese, meat, and zucchini for human consumption, but until then, it will continue to show up on our doorstep with a note that says, "Cook @ 300 degrees for 30 minutes, and then, throw it away.... far away."
____________
FOR THE RECORD:
1) I did NOT go into labor on my own.... my water broke and 24 hours later I was forced to go to the hospital and put on a pitocin drip. Ugh.
2) "Getting to be intense?" Whatever.
3) The labor did NOT go faster after the epidural.... 9 hours more is NOT fast! (18 hours total)
4) Collin did NOT come out all at once.... it was very slowly during 2 hours of pushing!
5) Dark purple.
June 07, 2010
Moonwalk
I overheard my kids talking about doing "the moonwalk." One by one they each tried to do it, while the others loudly protested that they were doing it wrong. And, of course, they were doing it wrong. I just smiled and watched their feeble attempts.
However, when the debate got a bit heated, I finally stepped in and said, "You are ALL doing it wrong." They opened their mouths, ready to argue, but I continued by adding, "I will show you how it's done."
By now they were scoffing at me, and I could see the skepticism on their faces. I can imagine what was going through their minds.... "Ha! Our old Mom doing the Moonwalk? No way! What a joke!"
Those little fools. They failed to realize that I was a teenager in the mid-1980's. I should have made a bet. I could have had them waiting on me hand and foot for the next month.
But I simply said, "Stand back!" Then, I proceeded to Moonwalk across the kitchen floor. Perfectly. No, I had not forgotten how. All those many hours of practicing when I was 13 paid off. MJ would have been proud.
I turned back to my kids with a smile. They stood gaping at me in shock.
Then came their awed whispers of, "Wow!" Then loud exclamations of "We didn't know you could do THAT!"
I just shrugged and said, "Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about me."
A couple of days later, I was at the school for flag ceremony with my kids. As I watched the kids on the playground for a few minutes before it started, Collin came running up with his friends. He turned to them and said, "My mom can Moonwalk!" I saw on their faces those same skeptical looks, which turned to amazement as I performed for them. "Cool!"
Yes, I think I'm the cool mom now.
However, when the debate got a bit heated, I finally stepped in and said, "You are ALL doing it wrong." They opened their mouths, ready to argue, but I continued by adding, "I will show you how it's done."
By now they were scoffing at me, and I could see the skepticism on their faces. I can imagine what was going through their minds.... "Ha! Our old Mom doing the Moonwalk? No way! What a joke!"
Those little fools. They failed to realize that I was a teenager in the mid-1980's. I should have made a bet. I could have had them waiting on me hand and foot for the next month.
But I simply said, "Stand back!" Then, I proceeded to Moonwalk across the kitchen floor. Perfectly. No, I had not forgotten how. All those many hours of practicing when I was 13 paid off. MJ would have been proud.
I turned back to my kids with a smile. They stood gaping at me in shock.
Then came their awed whispers of, "Wow!" Then loud exclamations of "We didn't know you could do THAT!"
I just shrugged and said, "Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about me."
A couple of days later, I was at the school for flag ceremony with my kids. As I watched the kids on the playground for a few minutes before it started, Collin came running up with his friends. He turned to them and said, "My mom can Moonwalk!" I saw on their faces those same skeptical looks, which turned to amazement as I performed for them. "Cool!"
Yes, I think I'm the cool mom now.
April 26, 2010
Multiple Choice Quiz
Scenario:
You found a new recipe online that sounded good. You made it for dinner tonight and it's, well, practically inedible and your family thinks it's disgusting.
Question:
What do you do?
A. Make your kids eat it anyway. (You can try to make your husband eat it, but I wouldn't recommend it.)
B. Gag is down yourself, pretending to like it, and let your kids go to bed hungry.
C. Admit that it's gross, toss it, and bring out the cold cereal.
I picked B. I really wish I had picked C.
What would you do?
You found a new recipe online that sounded good. You made it for dinner tonight and it's, well, practically inedible and your family thinks it's disgusting.
Question:
What do you do?
A. Make your kids eat it anyway. (You can try to make your husband eat it, but I wouldn't recommend it.)
B. Gag is down yourself, pretending to like it, and let your kids go to bed hungry.
C. Admit that it's gross, toss it, and bring out the cold cereal.
I picked B. I really wish I had picked C.
What would you do?
April 17, 2010
Mustard??!!??
Jay loves mustard... he puts in on sandwiches really thick, so that it practically gushes out the sides. I mean, he really loves mustard.
I like mustard.... a good amount on a hamburger or hot dog, just a little on a ham sandwich.
Our kids are OK with mustard, most of the time. They like it on hamburgers, hate it on hot dogs.
I have always loved "Alice in Wonderland" (the original Disney version). I don't think I need to tell you why. (I haven't seen the new one... kind of don't want to).
And we all love this (watch it from 1:30 on). And every time anyone in our family says the word "mustard," we can't help responding with "MUSTARD?!!? Don't let's be silly"... and then we all bust up laughing.
Classic.
Oh, and we like butter, jam, and sugar too.
I like mustard.... a good amount on a hamburger or hot dog, just a little on a ham sandwich.
Our kids are OK with mustard, most of the time. They like it on hamburgers, hate it on hot dogs.
I have always loved "Alice in Wonderland" (the original Disney version). I don't think I need to tell you why. (I haven't seen the new one... kind of don't want to).
And we all love this (watch it from 1:30 on). And every time anyone in our family says the word "mustard," we can't help responding with "MUSTARD?!!? Don't let's be silly"... and then we all bust up laughing.
Classic.
Oh, and we like butter, jam, and sugar too.
December 10, 2009
Jedi Don't Dance
I spent the afternoon yesterday helping my SIL who recently gave birth to these 2 sweet Beanie Babies. It was so fun! (Yes, I'm a little baby hungry, but it will have to stay that way.) She is probably exhausted and frustrated and overwhelmed and sleep-deprived, but you would never know it..... she looks gorgeous and skinny and acts calm.
I kicked Sarah out of the house to do some shopping sans kids, and after the babies were changed and fed, and sleeping soundly, I folded some laundry while Jack played with Owen. They were running around with lightsabers and yelling stuff. I wasn't paying much attention until Jack stopped in front of a large mirror and said, "Hey, look at that mirror!" Owen obviously wasn't impressed since he sees it every day.... he said nothing.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jack doing a silly little jig while admiring himself in the mirror. That made me smile. Suddenly Owen got a really intense look on his face and said in a very serious Jedi voice, "Jack! There's no time for dancing! We have a mission! Remember General Grievous?"
I busted out laughing... but I covered it OK with a cough.
And they were off once again on their "mission" to defeat the "big 4-armed robot" (Jack's description).
It's really too bad that Jedi don't dance.... I mean, they would if they could, but they just don't have time for dancing.
I kicked Sarah out of the house to do some shopping sans kids, and after the babies were changed and fed, and sleeping soundly, I folded some laundry while Jack played with Owen. They were running around with lightsabers and yelling stuff. I wasn't paying much attention until Jack stopped in front of a large mirror and said, "Hey, look at that mirror!" Owen obviously wasn't impressed since he sees it every day.... he said nothing.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jack doing a silly little jig while admiring himself in the mirror. That made me smile. Suddenly Owen got a really intense look on his face and said in a very serious Jedi voice, "Jack! There's no time for dancing! We have a mission! Remember General Grievous?"
I busted out laughing... but I covered it OK with a cough.
And they were off once again on their "mission" to defeat the "big 4-armed robot" (Jack's description).
It's really too bad that Jedi don't dance.... I mean, they would if they could, but they just don't have time for dancing.
October 30, 2009
Happy Halloween
Happy Halloween!
Yes, I know I have been very absent for a while. And yes, I know it doesn't sound like much of an excuse, but I HAVE been extremely busy.I am determined to catch up though, and since this blog is really my journal, I refuse to leave anything important out. That is why I will be going back and filling in the gaps.
In the meantime, I will leave you with this lovely Halloween version of our family photo that Jay created. Amazing what you can do with photo software.
May 13, 2009
Seeing Double
Jay thinks I'm weird for taking these photos, but how many times have YOU ever seen a double banana!
The kids discovered this at my mom's house the other day. We didn't know what it would look like inside, but sure enough... siamese twins.
Weird.
The kids discovered this at my mom's house the other day. We didn't know what it would look like inside, but sure enough... siamese twins. 
Weird.
May 05, 2009
These guys won't be ruling the world anytime soon
Jack and a couple of friends are here right now, and they are playing Monopoly. I use the term "playing" loosely. All three of these boys are 5 years old, and none of them knows how to read.
They didn't ask me for help. They just got out the game and went to work, trying to explain it to each other. I guess they are making up their own rules. The "preschool" version.
It goes something like this:
"Hey, I'm at Hawaii, at the beach."
"You have to pay me $92."
"I get some more money."
"No, you have to pay some money."
"Whose turn is it?"
"We forgot to push the middle thing."
"I get to roll the dice."
"What does this say?"
"That's a mystery mark."
"You mean a question mark."
"Oh, yeah. A question mark."
"You put it in the wrong one."
"We aren't playing the real way."
"You can be the dad banker."
"Who wants a guard?"
"That's not mine. I'm rich."
"Wow, 60 hundred three, twenty nine dollars."
"No, 15.... uh, 15 five hundred. Five."
"Good luck."
They didn't ask me for help. They just got out the game and went to work, trying to explain it to each other. I guess they are making up their own rules. The "preschool" version. 
It goes something like this:"Hey, I'm at Hawaii, at the beach."
"You have to pay me $92."
"I get some more money."
"No, you have to pay some money."
"Whose turn is it?"
"We forgot to push the middle thing."
"I get to roll the dice."
"What does this say?"
"That's a mystery mark."
"You mean a question mark."
"Oh, yeah. A question mark."
"You put it in the wrong one."
"We aren't playing the real way."
"You can be the dad banker."
"Who wants a guard?"
"That's not mine. I'm rich."
"Wow, 60 hundred three, twenty nine dollars."
"No, 15.... uh, 15 five hundred. Five."
"Good luck."
April 28, 2009
Said Jack the other day......
"I wish we had an ewok. They're so cute."
Mom: "Ewoks aren't real."
(pause)
Jack: "Well, then I wish we had a hamster."
Sorry, we don't do pets.
Mom: "Ewoks aren't real."
(pause)
Jack: "Well, then I wish we had a hamster."
Sorry, we don't do pets.
March 20, 2009
Camping
Lately, our kids have been begging us to take them camping. Just for the record, Jay and I HATE camping.
Actually, I used to like camping.... when I was a kid, and even a teenager.... when I didn't have to do any of the work (that was my parents' and older brother's job), and sleeping on the hard ground didn't make me feel like I was a hundred years old the next morning. (However, I NEVER enjoyed using Mother Nature's restroom. Ewwwww.)
Though Jay did plenty of camping as a Boy Scout, I don't think he ever liked it.... probably because he had to do all the work.
Anyway, the kids thought we were such mean parents to not take them camping during spring break.... we only went to a lovely, comfortable cabin with soft warm beds, a fireplace that doesn't smoke, electricity, and RUNNING WATER.
To stop the complaining, I had the brilliant idea of putting the tent up (yes, we actually have some camping gear) in the backyard. Why not? The weather is great, the grass is soft and green, and the bathroom is handy. And I figured that one night of bad sleep wouldn't hurt since there would be no school the next day, hence no worries about grumpiness.
So, yesterday while I finished making dinner, Jay and the kids set up the tent. After we ate, the kids hurried into their pajamas, grabbed their pillows, and snuggled into their sleeping bags in the tent. It was only about 7:30.
Jay and I had decided that we would pretend we were going to sleep out there with them..... we would just wait until they were asleep, and then go inside to our comfortable bed. (insert evil laughter)
We had a couple of flashlights, though we really didn't need them.... the street lights provided plenty of ambient lighting. The street also provided something else.... plenty of background noise from all the traffic. I imagine plenty of people were stilled headed home from work.
The kids couldn't go to sleep with all the excitement of sleeping outdoors (and noise!), so we told "Mashed Potato" stories for a while. (In case you don't know what "Mashed Potato" stories are, that's your basic "add-on" story where everyone takes a turn... I don't know why we call it that.) It was pretty entertaining.
Mary was just silly and couldn't stop laughing whenever it was her turn... she thought everything she said was absolutely hilarious. Collin wanted everything to be scary and dramatic, which became a bit annoying. I usually followed him, so I always turned the story back to funny and light-hearted, which annoyed him. Jack was funny because he used this serious, dramatic, grown-up voice, but his parts of the stories were usually only about one sentence before he passed it on.
But Jay (if you know Jay personally, then you know that he could have had a successful career as a stand-up comedian) had us all rolling on floor (literally.... we were already lying on the ground after all) with laughter.
Finally, everyone was pretty worn out from laughing, and we decided it was time to go to sleep. By this time it was almost 9:00... long past our kids' normal 8:00 bedtime.... so I figured they would be tired and fall right to sleep. I sang a good night song, and everyone finally settled down and was quiet. No one was talking, but there was lots of thrashing around as we tried to get comfortable.
It had been pretty quiet for a while... long enough for the kids to have fallen asleep, normally. So, I quietly sat up and looked around. Everyone was sleeping, or so I thought. They were all doing a good job of pretending.
Suddenly, Jack said in a loud voice, "Mom, I don't like sleeping in tents." I thought for a second and said, "Who wants to go sleep in their own bed?" There was a loud chorus of "Me!"
And so we all slept soundly in our beds last night, and lived happily ever after.
The End.
Actually, I used to like camping.... when I was a kid, and even a teenager.... when I didn't have to do any of the work (that was my parents' and older brother's job), and sleeping on the hard ground didn't make me feel like I was a hundred years old the next morning. (However, I NEVER enjoyed using Mother Nature's restroom. Ewwwww.)
Though Jay did plenty of camping as a Boy Scout, I don't think he ever liked it.... probably because he had to do all the work.
Anyway, the kids thought we were such mean parents to not take them camping during spring break.... we only went to a lovely, comfortable cabin with soft warm beds, a fireplace that doesn't smoke, electricity, and RUNNING WATER.
To stop the complaining, I had the brilliant idea of putting the tent up (yes, we actually have some camping gear) in the backyard. Why not? The weather is great, the grass is soft and green, and the bathroom is handy. And I figured that one night of bad sleep wouldn't hurt since there would be no school the next day, hence no worries about grumpiness.
So, yesterday while I finished making dinner, Jay and the kids set up the tent. After we ate, the kids hurried into their pajamas, grabbed their pillows, and snuggled into their sleeping bags in the tent. It was only about 7:30.Jay and I had decided that we would pretend we were going to sleep out there with them..... we would just wait until they were asleep, and then go inside to our comfortable bed. (insert evil laughter)
We had a couple of flashlights, though we really didn't need them.... the street lights provided plenty of ambient lighting. The street also provided something else.... plenty of background noise from all the traffic. I imagine plenty of people were stilled headed home from work.
The kids couldn't go to sleep with all the excitement of sleeping outdoors (and noise!), so we told "Mashed Potato" stories for a while. (In case you don't know what "Mashed Potato" stories are, that's your basic "add-on" story where everyone takes a turn... I don't know why we call it that.) It was pretty entertaining.
Mary was just silly and couldn't stop laughing whenever it was her turn... she thought everything she said was absolutely hilarious. Collin wanted everything to be scary and dramatic, which became a bit annoying. I usually followed him, so I always turned the story back to funny and light-hearted, which annoyed him. Jack was funny because he used this serious, dramatic, grown-up voice, but his parts of the stories were usually only about one sentence before he passed it on.
But Jay (if you know Jay personally, then you know that he could have had a successful career as a stand-up comedian) had us all rolling on floor (literally.... we were already lying on the ground after all) with laughter.
Finally, everyone was pretty worn out from laughing, and we decided it was time to go to sleep. By this time it was almost 9:00... long past our kids' normal 8:00 bedtime.... so I figured they would be tired and fall right to sleep. I sang a good night song, and everyone finally settled down and was quiet. No one was talking, but there was lots of thrashing around as we tried to get comfortable.
It had been pretty quiet for a while... long enough for the kids to have fallen asleep, normally. So, I quietly sat up and looked around. Everyone was sleeping, or so I thought. They were all doing a good job of pretending.
Suddenly, Jack said in a loud voice, "Mom, I don't like sleeping in tents." I thought for a second and said, "Who wants to go sleep in their own bed?" There was a loud chorus of "Me!"
And so we all slept soundly in our beds last night, and lived happily ever after.
The End.
January 23, 2009
Inquisitive Minds Want to Know
I have lots of catching up to do, but for right now, here are some of the questions Jack asked me the other day while we were running errands. What is going on in his head? Some of these are not so easy to answer, but I did my best.
"How did the water get in the ocean?" (Jesus put it there.)
(follow-up question) "Why did Jesus make sharks?" (I wonder that myself.)
"Where does blood come from?" (From inside our bodies... duh.)
"How do they make cars?" (very carefully)
"Where do parrots live?" (wherever they want to)
I'm just kidding, of course, about some of those answers.
"How did the water get in the ocean?" (Jesus put it there.)
(follow-up question) "Why did Jesus make sharks?" (I wonder that myself.)
"Where does blood come from?" (From inside our bodies... duh.)
"How do they make cars?" (very carefully)
"Where do parrots live?" (wherever they want to)
I'm just kidding, of course, about some of those answers.
December 12, 2008
"EYE M BOARD!"
Collin and Mary like to spell things when they are emphasizing a point. Jack likes to do the same... even though he doesn't know how to spell. For example:
Jack: (yelling) I AM BORED!
Mom: Well....
Jack: C-E-K !
Mom: (laughing) What?
Jack: (still yelling) WHAT DOES C-E-K MEAN?
Mom: (still laughing)
Jack: C-E-K MEANS I'M BORED!
Mom: (I can't do anything but laugh)
Jack: (in a normal voice) A-O-A-A-K means I am bored, OK?
Mom: (trying not to laugh) OK.
Jack: That means I want to play with some of my friends. OK? OK? OK?
Mom: OK!
Jack: (yelling) I AM BORED!
Mom: Well....
Jack: C-E-K !
Mom: (laughing) What?
Jack: (still yelling) WHAT DOES C-E-K MEAN?
Mom: (still laughing)
Jack: C-E-K MEANS I'M BORED!
Mom: (I can't do anything but laugh)
Jack: (in a normal voice) A-O-A-A-K means I am bored, OK?
Mom: (trying not to laugh) OK.
Jack: That means I want to play with some of my friends. OK? OK? OK?
Mom: OK!
November 27, 2008
October 29, 2008
Something to make you smile
In case you ever wanted to know how to "Disco Dance," click here. You don't even need to be able to understand Finnish. :)
October 03, 2008
Squirt
As Jack and I were eating grapefruit this morning, he offered me this great bit of advice:
"Close your eyes when it's about to squirt at you."
He's right, you know.
"Close your eyes when it's about to squirt at you."
He's right, you know.
July 09, 2008
Web
I just finished reading this wonderful classic to Jack. I read it to Collin and Mary when they were four as well. They all loved it as much as I do. What a lovely and touching story of friendship, loyalty, love, and sacrifice. I cry just as hard every time I read it. I hope this wasn't the last time. I suppose I can read it to my grandchildren. Recently, Jack came in the house to tell me that there was a spider web on his bike. I was distracted, and merely replied with something like, "Well, just brush if off. It won't hurt you." After a pause, Jack went on to say, "Mom, spiders don't like humans... only pigs."
June 23, 2008
I think Drew would be offended....
| In the early days of the TV show "ER" people would approach me on the street to tell me I looked like Dr. Susan Lewis on ER (actress Sherry Springfield). I started watching the show just to see what they were talking about. But apparently "MyHeritage" thinks I look most like Drew Barrymore. I'm not sure she would be too thrilled to hear that. |
Celebrity Morph of Jay
| For some reason "MyHeritage" believes that Matthew Broderick is the celebrity who looks the most like Jay. So much for Jon Cryer. |
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