October 29, 2008

Balance

The last 2 and half months have been sort of crazy for me and my family because of all that has happened with Christian and Stephanie. At times I have been completed consumed with concern for them, and focused completely on what I could do to help.

I am still extremely concerned for them, of course, but in situations such as this, at some point you must return to your normal life and keep moving forward. It would be wrong for me to focus only on my brother and his wife, and neglect the needs of my husband, children, and myself.

I have tried to find a balance. (I only blog about a small portion of my life, so it probably doesn't look very balanced to you.) I wish I could attend the 5K fundraiser in Virginia this weekend, but instead I will be attending (and helping to run) my kids' school Fall Festival with my family (besides the airline fare is not in my budget). I would have loved to attend the Mindy Gledhill concert last Saturday (watch Claire and Jane sing here), but I had my 20 year high school reunion, so instead I will watch the concert on DVD.

I would love to be able to attend every garage sale, run, golf tournament, ski day, concert, and fundraiser of every kind, but it's simply not possible. Thanks to all of you who have been so thoughtful and generous without criticizing.

P.S. I said I would let you know, so here goes.... You can buy the "For the Love of Nie" T-shirt here.

16 comments:

  1. I think you are doing a fabulous job trying to balance everything. Clearly a life altering accident has major affects on everyone involved, and yes, trying to establish normal routines afterwards is such a challenge. You definitely have your priorities straight.

    As much as you would like to be everywhere and do everything to support Christian and Stephanie, sometimes it is best to let go and let others (especially all of their well wishers and friends) have their chance to rise to the occasion, show their love and support.

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  2. Thank you so much for the link to the girls singing. What a beautiful song and they did such a great job - I wish I could have been there to see it.
    It is so hard to find balance in our lives and of course our own families should be our top priority. I have and continue to be nothing but amazed and impressed by you and rest the Nielson and Clark families. You have been such an example to me and to countless others.

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  3. Rosemary9:48 AM

    I've said this before, but I'll say this again.. you have all shown us what family means.. what family should be. I cannot imagine that anyone would/could criticize any of you or how you have handled this. You have all been amazing, but you are right.. you must balance, and be there for your own family. Thank you so much for taking the time to update those of us who are so far away.. but so concerned for this family we have come to love. I'm sure that there are those who will be negative -- arent' there always? But most of us are just grateful that you take the time to keep us posted... take care, and thank you again.

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  4. Alice! I don't think we any of us perfectly balance everything, but you seem perfectly grounded in what's important :)

    By the way, I just made gingersnaps using your recipe last night. they were awesome!

    Thanks!

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  5. Alice, I would hate to think of anyone leaving a critical comment on yours, or any of the Nielson or Clark family blogs. Of course there must be balance. That's the right way to be. Naturally those of us in the blogosphere are hanging on every scrap of news (I know I am) and so much of it really IS private family stuff. What has happened has been horrendous but you ALL have risen to the occasion in a way that has blessed those of us who are "watching from the sidelines". I think this is how God uses such situations. You and your family have our support. I watched the clip of your neices: they were treasures, and really did such a tremendous job.

    I hear you've got Ollie in your midst for a while! So glad for Christian that he is able to stay. There's another blessing. And Stephanie is healing. Praise the Lord.

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  6. Anonymous12:54 PM

    Hi there,

    You are doing a great job. You have let total strangers into your life (including me), and however well-meaning we may be, we are not LIVING your life. We are seeing a tiny fragment of it. How could we possibly be in a position to judge?

    No one holds the patent on how to handle a family catastrophe. No one holds the patent on how to handle anything! Furthermore, you have to keep things stable and balanced and joyful for Jack. And that includes concentrating on things beyond fundraisers and hospital visits and so on. You cannot put everything on hold, nor should you.

    I enjoy your blog. Your devotion to all of your family, your commitment to your marriage, your involvement in the community, and last but definitely not least, your faith - all of these shine through.

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  7. If anyone has commented negatively who hasn't walked in your families shoes they should be ashamed of themselves. My family has been through plenty of terrible things(my brother committed suicide)and it seems that everyone has expert advice. You know what it right for you and your family. Don't be bothered by people who seem to have all the answers. I am very impressed with how the Nielson and the Clark families have handled this very difficult time. I think you should all get together and write a book. You have got to be one of the most spiritual group of people. Not only do you talk the talk you also walk the walk. I am honored that you share your families struggles and triumphs with me.
    My last two words:
    THANK YOU!!!!

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  8. Seems to me you are handling your family and extended family beautifully. No one can criticize unless they have walked in your shoes.

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  9. I think everyone needs balance in their life, and it's no one's business to question you at all. I think you and your family are great people and you have definitely affected a lot of people including me, in a positive way. I definitely don't take things for granted as much as before, and I cook supper every night. That may not seem like much, but it's a big deal to me. I think it's great that you went to your reunion.

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  10. Alice,

    I agree with everyone's comments as well...I can't believe anyone would put negative comments on your blog. This is YOUR blog...you are sharing your life with us. I don't think that Nie (and Christian) would not want you to forget about your husband, kids and yourself. I was not able to attend the concert either, I wished that I could have gone too (so excited at the possibility of a DVD!). Thank you for sharing!

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  11. Good for you, you have to know your limits. President Lee's article in the Ensign says that in order to lift another you have to be standing on higher ground. I am certain Christian and Stephanie would rather you be available to fill their hearts with the sound of angelic music over having you running from fundraiser to fundraiser. From what I've read, you've been supporting your family in much more intimate ways, not being in the public eye all the time doesn't make your support less. You are awesome!

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  12. Those girls are precious. I love that they taped it.

    Good luck with balance... praying for YOU!

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  13. Alice, I've seen some of the negative comments people have been leaving and I have been appalled. I am so sorry that people would EVER act that way but especially in the wake of a truly difficult time for you and your family.

    Just know that I admire your courage to continue on with your blog without going private. I'm sure it would be a temptation to do so. I appreciate your posts immensely and hope the Negative Nellies will go away.

    Have a joyful day!

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  14. I'm with the group. I'm so thankful that y'all have willingly let us into your little world. I've loved getting the updates, but also to see how each person has embraced the tasks that have been placed before them. I'm amazed at how well everyone has stepped up.

    I'm sad that people are so willing to provide their commentary without understanding or realizing what a difficult situation this has been for everyone. I hope this doesn't turn you away from blogging.

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  15. Thankyou so much for posting the link of the girls singing. It really touched my heart.

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  16. Just getting back from a long family vacation and getting around to checking up on blogs and.....

    Oh my tears!! What a beautiful clip of the sweet girls singing. I also loved the song, I have never heard it before. They did amazing and it had to take a ton of courage and love for them to do that in front of so many.

    Thank you, thank you for sharing.

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